On the Tuesday, November 16 edition of Tamron Hall, “Fall… in Love” week continued with Grammy-nominated R&B singer Kenny Lattimore and his wife, Divorce Court star, Judge Faith Jenkins who both joined Tamron in-studio to discuss their marriage and finding love later in life.
Lattimore discussed being molested as a child and shared how that trauma affected his relationship with Jenkins. Tamron was later joined by New York Times best-selling author and licensed psychologist Dr. Robin Smith who spoke about the importance of radical honesty, and “Napoleon Dynamite” star Jon Heder who opens up about his nearly 20 year long marriage to his college sweetheart and gives a sneak peek at his new movie “Funny Thing About Love.”
Kenny Lattimore on being vulnerable with his wife about his past experience with molestation and wanting to protect his son from having a similar experience:
“I’ll say this, I had a past issue of molestation and I wanted to make sure that my son never experienced what I experienced. And I was with Faith and about to go on television to say that publicly and it was a really tough kind of time. When I went to Faith and we talked about it, she’s like ‘are you sure you really want to address this on the show?’ I was like ‘I have to because it’s part of the story.’ When he got to be five years old at the time, I remember at first, I was very guarded. I just feel like I don’t want this to happen. I want him to have this freedom to love, like what we’re talking about, without a tremendous amount of shackles because that’s what causes shackles and it creates paralyzation sometimes you don’t move forward.”
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Faith Jenkins on her husband Kenny working through his past trauma and how it made her realize he was “The One”:
Can I say this about Kenny? Because when you hear his story and his background and you talk about the public nature of some of the things that he’s gone through, I thought ‘wow, is this someone who wants to be married again? Is this someone who wants to open up? Does he really have the capacity?’ I was and have been blown away by him because never once in our marriage, in our relationship have I felt this guard, these walls, this past pain or hurt being projected onto me. Not once and I talk about this all the time. You know, it’s easy to be good to people when things are great, when your relationship is going well. But the true character, the true measure of a person is how you treat each other when things are difficult and when you’re going through adversity. All throughout, he has always honored and cherished me.”
Dr. Robin Smith on what ‘radical honesty’ really means in a relationship:
“I mean, radical honesty is not only radical honesty with your partner because a lot of times we hear that we’re like,
‘I’m going to tell him or her everything I think or feel.’ The first person you need to tell everything you think and feel is you, it’s not someone else. We have this illusion that if I can come clean, I always say that we need to get dirty to come clean but not with someone else. You don’t start that intimate journey toward real radical truthfulness with someone else. You know in Lies At The Altar, there are 276 questions about everything we need to ask ourselves about what a suitable partner might look like. And those questions before you ask them to someone else, you need to get clear about who are you? What do you think about forgiveness? How do you feel about private schools for your children? What do you think about vacation and budgets and whether or not you would move away from your family of origin? So it’s not that we want to understand the other first, the real power is when you understand yourself first and then you can bring that radical honesty and fullness to someone else.”
Jon Heder on the “funny” thing about love that he has learned over the course of nearly 20 years of marriage with his college sweetheart:
“Uh, well, it’s a roller coaster ride. You know, you have your ups and downs. I’m sure any married person will tell you. I mean, the first year can be tough and then you go through waves and their sections where it’s ‘ah this is great’ and then you can remember milestones like, ‘oh, boy, that was a tough year.’ It’s got its hills and valleys. But I think the funny thing is that you know, when you are committed, you really do find the things, you’re learning to love the whole way. You’re finding different things you love about them, you are growing that love. When I think back to when we first started dating and when we first got married, it’s so completely different the way we saw things, the way we saw each other. And then having kids and a family and moving several times and just going through all those kinds of you know, experiences together, you have a different life and you come to know each other in different ways. But since you’re both part of the same journey, then you’re getting to know your adventure mate in different ways and it’s great.”
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